40 Ways to Stay Fat Forever | Thought Catalog

justinhook:

fuckyeahtiffliu:

upsideumop:

1. Learn how to cook — pancakes.
2. Avoid jogging when it’s hot. Or cold. Or early. Or late.
3. Tell people you had salad for lunch when you actually had a chicken-salad sandwich.
4. Only listen to medical studies that say you should keep doing what you’re already doing — namely, eating chocolate and drinking beer.

Hahahahaha

Another one by me on the Thought Catalog!